I am clinging… perhaps a little too desperately at the moment… to the kindness others have shown me. The friends who came to help me move my shit the other day. To the brief conversation I had with a Bumbler:
Dude used the word nuanced in a sentence. That’s not something I see all that often. Of course… I think he’s vanished, but… I did like the momentary distraction. I’m not so experienced with relationships. That tends to be a dealbreaker. So be it.
But mostly… the brightest light has been this comment from one of my freshmen at college:
You’re SO good. Not just ‘good enough’… NO. You’re just Goooooood.
I am leaning on that something fierce right now.
This was in my Facebook memories. Something I’d shared a year ago, and it still rings true for me today. I strive to be open. It’s often a struggle for me, to be honest. But I know that withholding my thoughts and feelings doesn’t serve me in the slightest.
I’m trying. I’m hoping one day it will count for something. That said… I totally jacked with my Bumble profile. I’m really not in the mood for more disappointment. My plate’s full. It’s gonna take me a good while to chew on this shit.