Category: tanks

  • that’s the thing about pain; it demands to be felt.

    there’s a moment when you’ve walked away from a story, out of the theater, into the light, to wait in a crowded restroom filled with women of varying colors and shapes and ages. it’s loud in this room–the voices, the laughter, the doors opening and closing, the water running, the dryers droning. it’s loud. and […]

  • primroses on street corners

    my day started off okay. i had colorado peaches for breakfast. and oh, they’re yummy. one of my favorite managers has come back to our store to manage it, and i’ve felt pleased and blessed where work’s concerned ever since i learned of her return. or at least, i’ve tried to focus on this. i’ve […]

  • five things you shouldn’t say to someone with bipolar disorder

    one. lighten up. sure. as soon as we can remember how to conjure a patronus to banish the dozens of dementors and their blackness. do you think we don’t prefer the sun? do you think it’s so easy as stepping outside? two. oh, i’m sick of hearing about how your head hurts. one of the pleasantries […]

  • sometimes i’m not even aware of the time

    oh… bipolar how i loathe you. i would count the ways, but i think yall would get tired of reading about them. so i’ll just give you one: it’s a time suck. i love how smart i am. really. my brain’s got some wicked power, especially when it comes to crafting a sentence (though i […]

  • a smile as small as mine

    there are people who get to look on that view every day. i’m privileged that i got to see it once. i’ve not been doing well. more often than not lately, i go through my days feeling as though i am either invisible or a laughing stock. i am reminded of how i felt in […]

  • the way is shut

    my mother used to worry that she would lose me to alcohol or drugs. i’d get little comments here and there whenever we talked about my aunt or uncle or grandfather. mostly about my aunt. about how i am just like her. twenty years ago, when she made these comments, i would be irritated by […]

  • i should’ve stayed home today

    the trouble with going to sleep unhappy with yourself is that you wake up that way. only it’s worse, because, while you were sleeping, all those negative feelings you had magically intensified exponentially, so that when you wake the next morning, you have maybe two hundredths of a second to revel in the glory of […]

  • leap already

    one of my favorite children’s books is little quack, about a duckling who’s too afraid to leave the nest to go swimming with his mother and siblings. actually, all the ducklings are afraid, but one by one, the mama coaxes them out of the nest and into the water. eventually little quack succeeds in leaving […]

  • once upon a time i was happy

    i miss the days in which i was oblivious to the imperfections of my face.

  • the help and the hindrance

    the benefit of carrying around all this baggage is that sometimes i find things inside that i’d neglected to notice i’d packed for the journey. today, i woke up at ten, shoved the ugly memories of yesterday’s unpleasantness aside, texted my stylist to see what time my pedicure appointment was, texted my trainer to see […]