the oscars: visual effects

now we get to the good stuff. best achievement in visual effects. thank god for industrial light and magic and their mad, mad skills. thank god for the guys who can make superman fly, the t-1000 shape-shift and dinosaurs wreak havoc.

nineteen seventy-eight… and the oscar goes to star wars: episode iv – a new hope. damn right it does. of course, the only other nominee was close encounters of the third kind. here we go again with the slim pickings. but still… star wars would’ve blasted the competition to the outer rim.

seventy-nine. superman. the only nominee. but still… it’s SUPERMAN.

eighty. alien. can i just say how happy i am that star trek lost? (i’ll be happy for that franchise later because it took decades… and j.j. abrams to get me to love the enterprise and its crew.) also… somebody made a REALLY DISGUSTING AND VILE CREATURE come out of john hurt’s chest.

that’s SO, SO, SO gross. and then it got to be BIG AND NASTY AND SKEERY AS SHIT. i can’t watch it, captain. i don’t have the power.

eighty-one. star wars: episode v – empire strikes back.

return of the jedi wins, too, by the way. so do the indiana jones movies. aliens gets another one.

i don’t like forrest gump and babe, but they deserve their oscars here. bah. actually, i can’t really bitch about any of the winners, which disappoints me because i do like to bitch. :]

so the nominees this year are:

deepwater horizon

doctor strange

the jungle book

kubo and the two strings

rogue one: a star wars story

do i really need to tell you which one i want to win?

the best instances in which the academy got it right: the star wars saga; the lord of the rings (i bet you thought i could go a whole post without mentioning them.); jurassic park (i’d rather watch alien than see that one again; those velociraptors SCARE THE SHIT out of me).

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