the oscars: production design

okay. i am plagued since january thirtieth by an incredibly tenacious sinus infection or something that is amazingly resistant to medication, like steroids and amoxicillin and levaquin. what this means is some of the fire and ire that i would normally have for this subject has been refocused on the fact that i feel like hammered shit. i was gonna post on cinematography the other day but couldn’t muster up the energy. also, that’s actually a really tricky category to tackle. it’s so much more than just camera angles and pretty pictures. so i scratched that one. sorry to disappoint. i’m sure you’re so, so saddened by this.

seriously, yall, i think i’m dying. it’s always a shock to me when i wake up in the morning, more of one that i’m not coughing up the entirety of my insides with every hack. i’m sure you’re so, so disgusted by that thought. i am, too. i can’t guarantee i’ll be ranting as much here has i have been…

production design… once upon a time this was called art direction-set decoration. in seventy-seven, the winner was all the president’s men. that film that probably should have won best picture but didn’t. the next year it went to… wait for it… star wars: episode iv – a new hope. damn skippy. then it went to heaven can wait, but then the nominees that year were pretty much shit. star trek lost the following year to all that jazz; it should have. the empire strikes back lost the following year to tess; it should not have. same for return of the jedi, which fucking lost to fanny and alexander. show of hands, who even knows that movie?

amadeus, out of africa, a room with a view, the last emperor, dangerous liaisons, batman, dick tracy, bugsy, howard’s end, schindler’s list… i’m good with these. the madness of king george won over interview with the vampire. nope. not cool. restoration, the english patient, titanic… fine. dandy.  shakespeare in love over saving private ryan or what dreams may come. no. no. no. sleepy hollowcrouching tiger, hidden dragon. fine. fellowship of the ring and the two towers lost to moulin rouge and chicago. BAH. return of the king won, followed by the aviatormemoirs of a geisha, pan’s labyrinth, sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street. i’m good with those. the dark knight and sherlock holmes lost to the curious case of benjamin button and fucking avatar. alice and wonderland, hugo… lincoln over anna karenina, the hobbit or les miserablesthe great gatsby, the grand budapest hotel and mad max: fury road

which brings us to our nominees for this year:

arrival
fantastic beasts and where to find them
hail! caesar
la la land
passengers

i want either fantastic beasts or passengers to win.

the best instances in which the academy got it right: star wars: episode iv – a new hope; the lord of the rings: the return of the king; and alice in wonderland.


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