Quirky Pickings

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Jenn

Me in Ten

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If you were to choose ten chicks (or dudes) (from literature/television/film/whatever) who had comparable qualities to yours, which ones would you pick?

One. Kit Kat played by Lydia Wilson in About Time. Careless, unaware of her own worth, easily distracted by impulse.

Two. Anna Malloy played by Isla Fisher in Tag. Crass, pushy, dedicated. She’s probably my favorite of the bunch. Here’s a good (not kid-friendly) snapshot: https://youtu.be/9zayyt63auA.

Three. Samantha played by Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles. Shoots for the fences, annoyed by idiots, shy.

Four. Shelby Eatenton Latcherie played by Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias. Has a hard time standing up for what she wants, people-pleaser, decent sense of style.

Five. Meredith Morton played by Sarah Jessica Parker in The Family Stone. REALLY good at sticking her foot in her mouth, tries too hard, excellent gift-giver.

Six. Molly Mahoney played by Natalie Portman in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Fascinated by magic but doubts her abilities to be magical, tenacious, has creative desires but not a lot of vision until push comes to shove.

Seven. Allison Reynolds played by Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club. AWKWARD. Doesn’t much like people. Doesn’t think she has any friends.

Eight. Emma played by Ann Hathaway in One Day. Settles. Rarely speaks up for herself. Kind of a geek.

Nine. Sadness played by Melissa McCarthy in Inside Out. Caring touch, kind heart, incessant crying jags.

Ten. Meredith played by Gillian Anderson in Playing by Heart. Control freak, doesn’t deal well with passion, doesn’t deal well with men.

Fifteen Things to Celebrate in August: A (Sort-Of) Scavenger Hunt

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One. August First. National Girlfriend Day. I’m sure this one was designated for the romantic sort, but I’m opening up for gals to celebrate their girl friends, too. Take some time today to celebrate the ladies in your life! Spend some time with one! Snap a cute photo and share it!

Two. August Second. National Coloring Book Day. Put some color in the world! Grab a box of crayons and get to coloring, then put that color in the mail to brighten someone’s day.

Three. August Third. National Watermelon Day. Beat the heat with some sweets!

Four. August Fourth. National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day. Bake a batch from scratch.

Five. August Fifth. The film From Here to Eternity, based on James Jones’ book, is released in ‘fifty-three. I’ve not seen the movie nor read the book and will endeavor to do either, if not both. If you watch the film, Harry Bellaver plays Mazzioli — what’s the fifth line he speaks? If you read the book, what’s the fifth word on the eighth line of the fifty-third page?

Six. August Sixth. National Root Beer Float Day. NOT a fan of root beer? Neither am I. Can’t remember the last time I had one of these, but I’ll give it a go. Dare you to do so, too.

Bodie Lighthouse — Cape Hatteras, North Carolina

Seven. August Seventh. National Lighthouse Day. Have you, in your travels, snapped a shot of a lighthouse? Show me! If not, and you’re feeling crafty, draw or paint one or find a coloring page and get to decorating. Or… set about finding the real thing, if you can. OR… if there’s a book you love that features a lighthouse in the story… tell me about that.

Eight. August Eighth. National Bowling Day. Yeah… there’s that whole pandemic thing… so maybe bowling is out, but if you can do it, do it. If not, share a photo from an earlier time.

Nine. August Ninth. National Book Lovers Day. What are the ten best books you’ve ever read? Make a photo collage, share some favorite snippets… GUSH about the things because God knows we need some GOOD stories right about now.

Ten. August Tenth. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart completed his chamber piece Eine Kleine Nachtmusic (A Little Serenade) in the year seventeen eighty-seven. Take some time to really listen to it. Put on some headphones, close your eyes, and listen.

Eleven. August Fifteenth. National Relaxation Day. This one’s TOO easy for me… but I’m a spoke on a wheel, so to speak. I don’t have a significant other or children to support. I EXCEL at doing nothing. When’s the last time YOU allowed yourself to do NOTHING? MAKE the time, folks. Recharge those batteries. FIND some solitude and unwind.

Twelve. August Eighteenth. National Fajita Day. Lupe’s Tortillas! BEST fajitas EVER… at least, I think so. Who makes the best in your neck of the woods? Or are YOU the best in the business? Make some… or make your way to that restaurant.

Thirteen. August Twenty-Third. Jeff Buckley releases the album Grace, featuring a cover of Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, in ‘ninety-four. Listen to the album in its entirety with headphones on and eyes closed. Also… Buckley’s cover of that song is my favorite version. What’s yours?

Fourteen. August Twenty-Seventh. The film Roman Holiday is released, also in ‘fifty-three. Another film I’ve not seen. What’s the twenty-seventh word Eddie Albert says?

Fifteen. August Thirtieth. National Beach Day. If you can get to a beach, get to it. If not, share some beachy-keen photos from days past.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these. Reminder, should you choose to play along, the things do NOT have to be done on their associated dates… any time in the month of August is fine by me.

The Seventh Annual Fall Film Challenge

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Begins one minute past twelve a.m. September first / concludes midnight November thirtieth. You may NOT use a film you have already seen, even in part (excluding trailers), for this challenge. All films MUST be new to you. Each film chosen for the challenge may be used ONLY ONCE. Apple TV and Netflix productions ARE acceptable.

The first five people to complete the challenge prior to November thirtieth will each receive an Amazon gift card valued at twenty dollars. The one person to accumulate the most points at the challenge’s conclusion will receive an Amazon gift card valued at fifty dollars. Each film is valued at ten points, yielding a total points of two hundred fifty. Details of a bonus round will be revealed October fifteenth. 

To be eligible for prizes, you must be a member of The Fall Film Challenge Facebook group OR have open communication with me with regard to your progress. If you choose to join the group, once you’ve chosen your films to fit the below categories, post your list to the group’s page or email it to quirkypickings at icloud dot com so that I may add your selections to a master list.

The Categories: Choose twenty-five films featuring actors who have appeared on Saturday Night Live as regular cast members or those who have hosted the show three or more times. I give you free rein with regard to whom you choose — you do NOT have to use the actors pictured above. Selected films do NOT have to be comedies, but… given the state of things, I thought we could use some humor.

Fifty Reasons to Live

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Think of all the things you would’ve missed….

One. The Star Wars saga — sans episode the ninth. Playing hooky with your direct supervisor and coworkers to watch episode the first. Also this:

Conversation with my five-year-old nephew:

Me: But those stories are written by the best storyteller ever born (Shakespeare)!

Him: Not Star Wars.

— June 25, 2014 / Panera Bread at The Woodlands Mall with family

Two. The Miracle on Ice! THAT FANTASTIC MOVIE Disney made later, memorializing the glorious feat of those Olympians. Watching that with your mother. All the times you’ve enjoyed it since. That soundtrack you were playing the day you hydroplaned on the interstate going seventy-five miles an hour and the miracle that everyone managed to get out of your crazy way and when Phineas Boba Fett (your beloved Acura RSX) stopped spinning and bouncing off guard rails, God put your car back in the lane you’d occupied before the world tilted and had Phinny facing the right way. You were listening to the Miracle soundtrack when that happened.

Three. Pac-Man. Taking turns, playing with your brothers first thing in the morning before school. Also Super Mario Brothers… the countless hours you spent playing this with your younger brother.

Four. MTV. The summer of eighty-three when you made friends, and yall would call each other to announce Duran Duran’s Reflex video was being shown. Years later… all the games you played while watching videos with your hallmates in the basement smoking recreation room of PEO Hall at Cotteyland.

Five. Metallica. That one time your hallmates got you headbanging to Enter Sandman at the Rocking K in Pittsburgh, Kansas.

Six. Calvin and Hobbes. Also Brian Kessinger’s mash-up artistry of the comic with Star Wars characters.

Seven. Neil Patrick Harris as Barney in How I Met Your Mother. And since we’re talking stupid comedy… the entire cast of The Big Bang Theory.

Eight. Peyton Manning. Also baby brother Eli. Two Superbowl-winning Giants. Pun (and sarcasm) intended.

Nine. Angelina Jolie in Playing by Heart. You LOVE her in that movie. You love EVERYONE in that movie. That movie is perfection.

Ten. Riggs and Murtaugh. Mostly Riggs, actually. But he wouldn’t be the same without his partner. Mel Gibson on the big screen. Clayne Crawford on the small one. How many times have you let those characters, those men entertain you?

Eleven. Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl, a film released the year of your older brother’s death, the year after you lost Adam. How many days did you escape into that story? How many times have you reveled in the glory of its craftiness that. That movie’s perfection, too.

Twelve. If you’d taken your life before December twenty-fourth of ‘two, you never would have known you could forgive your older brother.

Thirteen. If you’d taken your life before March twenty-sixth of ‘two, you never would have known that thing they call chemistry between two lovers was real and not some myth, some plot device conjured by some storyteller centuries before. You never would’ve heard a man call you, in your American Eagle rugby T-shirt and Gap boot cut jeans and your battered brown Doc Marten boots, gorgeous. You wouldn’t’ve known that you could feel contentment.

Fourteen. This is Us and Life Itself. Probably the best stories ever put on screen, big or small.

Fifteen. Jessica Chastain in Lawless. WOW. Ain’t that just like you, to believe your own damned legend. She was SO SO good in that movie. And as Celia in The Help.

Sixteen. The Lord of the Rings. All those movie marathons. The director’s cut, boxed set your younger brother gave you for Christmas one year. The peace it gave you when you felt so, so lost.

Seventeen. Elvis Presley. That voice. The hope If I Can Dream gives you. The joy of the JXL Radio Edit Remix of A Little Less Conversation. Windows down in Phineas on Gosling Road on a clear spring day… or blasting down the interstate.

Eighteen. Zoe Saldana. Simon Pegg. Karl Urban. Chris Pine. J.J. Abram’s reboot of Star Trek. Watching that in the theaters with Keli. Beating your in-theater record of most-times-viewed. All that AWESOME dialogue.

Nineteen. Aaron Rodgers launching a football a hundred yards in the air AND A hundred yards downfield into the end zone and Richard Rodgers catches it with NO time left in the game to beat NFC rival Detroit Lions.

Twenty. Sara Bareilles’ Breathe Again. What kind of heart doesn’t look back?

Twenty-One. Chris Pratt. Bradley Cooper. Vin Diesel. Dave Bautista. Karen Gillan. And, yes, Zoe Saldana. Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, you CAN enjoy something that is sheer ridiculousness.

Twenty-Two. Anthony Ervin. Dude wins the splash and dash in the Olympics at nineteen and goes back to win it again sixteen years later. You watched that… granted you saw it in the living room of your parents’ house. You watched it, and stood, gleefully, on that terrazzo floor, amazed that this man who by most accounts was past his prime could swim that length without taking one breath in the water. Splash and dash, indeed. His time at the Sydney Olympics was twenty one point nine eight. He beat that in Rio by fifty-eight hundredths. His thirty-five-year-old self beat his nineteen-year-old self. Read that as many times as you need.

Twenty-Three. Michael Phelps, Klete Keller, Ryan Lochte and Peter Vanderkaay BEAT Ian Thorpe and his goons to reclaim the four by two hundred free relay title at the Athens Olympics. You watched this in your San Antonio apartment, jumping up and down on that teak Storehouse Furniture cocktail table you’ve got in storage. You can’t bear to part with the thing because it’s got such a happy memory for you.

Twenty-Four. Jonny Lang. Your older brother went with you to see him perform with Beth Hart in Houston. That was a good day.

Twenty-Five. Von Miller. Aggie football. All those games.

Twenty-Six. One Fine Day. Watching that with your parents and brother over the holidays. Every time you watch that movie, it brings you pleasure. Every time you watch it, you think this life isn’t quite so shitty as it seems.

Twenty-Seven. Christmases at the cabin. That last one… when you weren’t hating your brother… that last one that was a sort of miracle. A respite just before the shit hit the fan.

Twenty-Eight. Summers at the monastery. That last one… when you were sitting with your great uncle on the lawn toward the road, where the big old tree used to be. The words he spoke… if only you could remember them. But they were good and true, and he believed so well of you.

Twenty-Nine. Stevie Ray Vaughan. Cold Shot. Pride and Joy. Look at Little Sister.

Thirty. Primroses on street corners. How many times have you spotted those on desolate days? Lucille put those on your antique icebox for a reason.

Thirty-One. Blueberry muffins. Oh the comfort they provide. The scent of them in the oven, the flavor of them melting in your mouth.

Thirty-Two. Coca-Cola. Dr. Pepper. Peace Tea Green Tea. Such GOOD refreshment.

Thirty-Three. Chicken spaghetti. Best comfort food ever. Such a pain in the ass to make, but oh, the result is extraordinary.

Thirty-Four. Macaroni and cheese. The kind mom makes. She means so well. She wants the best for you. Funny how she makes this — or her chicken noodle soup, for that matter — when you’re feeling especially down and out. She sees you. She might not always know how to love you well, but she does love. She does her best.

Thirty-Five. Blue Bell Ice Cream. Coffee and Dutch Chocolate and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough…

Thirty-Six. LONDON!!! All that history!!!

Thirty-Seven. Munich! All that beauty! The giant chestnut trees EVERYWHERE.

Thirty-Eight. Barcelona!! All that fun!! And the glory of Gaudi’s cathedral!

Thirty-Nine. All the effort Carmen’s making for you to help you get stronger. She LOVES you. Has thought well of you from the moment you met her at your brother’s house. She’s a GOOD friend to have.

Forty. Serena. There’s a reason Lisa asked you to help her with her class. There’s a reason Landon was there. There’s a reason God crossed your paths. She benefits from your friendship… SO many do.

Forty-One. Ranunculus. That day you were at that River Oaks flower shop, and that dude asked you what he thought of the tacky and over-priced arrangement he was going to get his girl. You suggested the radiant with charms ranunculus that cost a FRACTION of that bouquet, and he bought it. He chose to go the simpler route. Sometimes your ideas are GOLD. Sometimes you CAN convince people of their worth.

Forty-Two. Literature: The Language of Flowers; Landline; Eleanor and Park; The Fault in Our Stars; The Time Traveler’s Wife; Lovers and Dreamers. Think of all the characters you’ve yet to meet.

Forty-Three. Steel Magnolias. Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.

Forty-Four. The generosity others have shown you recently.

Forty-Five. The hug your youngest cousin gave you after being too much in a crowd, too stimulated by all the things, too unable to please your younger brother. Your cousin didn’t say anything. He just smiled at you and wrapped his arms around you and held on tight in a great bear hug that lasted I-don’t-know-how-long. It was long enough to make an impression. It was long enough to bring you some semblance of peace… even if that peace was short-lived.

Forty-Six. You went zip-lining. You who is afraid of heights and falling and hurting yourself. You went zip-lining. And when you suffered a panic attack at the thought of crossing the suspension bridge, another cousin — the middle brother of the aforementioned cousin — helped you across each of those planks to the other tower, and though you’d struggled with zip-lining to the first one, you did the second one perfectly.

Forty-Seven. Splendor with friends and the kids at school.

Forty-Eight. Settlers of Catan with the bartenders at Pappadeaux’s.

Forty-Nine. Watching Green Bay lose to the Panthers in Charlotte. That was not a good day… but girl, you lucked into going to that game.

Fifty. Your niece. Your nephew.

Fifty Different Reasons

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A long, long time ago I made a list of fifty reasons to stick around. And I wrote a list of fifty reasons not to do so. And BOTH helped me, yall. Both have been good tools for combating the crazy. But they’re old. And I wrote them in haste, without putting much thought into either of them. I did the different reasons list AFTER I’d written the live list, and almost every item on the different reasons list was the antithesis of its counterpart on the live list. Those lists… they need a little tweaking. So I am rehashing them for the current moods and madness with which I struggle. This is a hard one for me to write. I took more time with this one. I have to be in the right mindset, which at first wasn’t easy to do and I wasn’t sure I could find that place again, but that was the other day. I found it.

In reading this the mindset I have at the beginning, one of agreement, morphs into one of denial by the end. The Bloggess, aka Jenny Lawson, has said OFTEN depression lies. Here are the lies I tell myself:

One. You are broken. You were born that way. Everything about your body, your face, your brain is fucked.

Two. Your brothers got most of the goods: the looks, the personality, the mad skills. You got the scraps: the leftovers, the rejected bits, all the less admirable traits from your ancestors. The mad and the madness. You’re a spawn, a spore. There’s one in every generation.

Three. Six surgeries. Thirty some-odd-scars. And you’re still an ugly hag.

Four. And now you’re a FAT, bitter, ugly hag. FAT. Remember what that one boy said to you? How at the reunion, people’s reaction upon seeing you would be, Who’s that rolling in? Yeah. You don’t get to prove him wrong about that.

Five. No one will ever want to marry you because you’re too ugly and no one wants to wake up next to something that ugly every morning. You don’t get to prove him wrong about that, either.

Six. You should go kill yourself; you’re taking up valuable air and space, and there are more important people who need it. You should’ve done it. Those people could manage to make friends and live good lives. You don’t get to prove them, any of them, wrong about that, either. You keep trying, though. You keep thinking you have gifts. Oh dear heavens, girl. SCRAPS. You’re made of scraps!!! Gifts ain’t found in the junkyard.

Seven. You signed up for that socials site to meet new people, to PAY people to spend time with you. TO PAY PEOPLE TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. Your friends don’t want to spend time with you. They don’t want it SO much that one of them suggested that socials site so you could stop badgering her to spend time with you. They WANT you to leave them alone. You’re one of those unimportant people, remember? They’re too nice, too GOOD to tell you to fuck off. And you should. YOU SHOULD.

Eight. Your own brother doesn’t even want to spend time with you. Seriously. You’ve seen him like four times since Christmas. And it’s NOT because of Covid, though he sure does like to use that excuse with you… it was like this BEFORE the virus… and THEN it was work. Ask yourself why he makes the excuses. He sure can find the time for quite a few others.

Nine. Mama says you’ve got that go to hell look patented, and you know she’s right because you can feel the fury on your face when you unleash that look. You boil over, Jennifer. ALL the time. You boil over because the pan’s filled with rage and hate. There’s no love in the pot to temper the heat.

Ten. Good men want nothing to do with you. The moment they figure out you’re off your rocker, they RUN for the hills. Can’t get away fast enough. The words… you’re a WRITER, and the words that come out of your mouth are RIDICULOUS. They say you’re intimidating? That’s polite code for YOU FUCKING SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF ME, BITCH. PSYCHO FEMALE.

Eleven. You don’t know how to love. That BSF Bible study group leader talked about what happens when the virtues are perverted. You’ve perverted ALL of them. A L L of them. There’s a place for people like you.

Twelve. How desperate can you possibly be? You love Aggieland so much, were so incapable of conveying that love to your parents so they could respect your choice of institution for higher learning and have regretted that inadequacy with every breath since, that you’d brainwash your brother’s children in their infancy to love that university so they’d decided by their tenth year that THAT’S where they want to go so YOU can live vicariously through them. WHAT BULLSHIT IS THIS?? WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE LIKE YOUR MOTHER??? You HATE that she took choice from you! You’d want to take it from them? Those babies you say you love as though they were your own? IDIOT!! Why would you perpetuate that hell?

Thirteen. Must every other word that rolls off your tongue be foul? Really? Because girl… your mouth is essentially an ashtray. Your words reek like the trashiest of alleys.

Fourteen. When your parents pass, you will lose all contact with people. You will hole up in an apartment and play on Facebook… the modern day arena where Ms. Brill would watch her shows… Handy that she wouldn’t have to leave her house. You are JUST like that pathetic woman. JUST LIKE HER.

Fifteen. You spent thirty minutes writing about the lack of love, and half the words you put on the page were film quotes. You’d spend the rest of your pathetic life in bed watching movies because you’re too afraid to live.

Sixteen. You’ll NEVER write a story so good people would want to show it on a screen. And all you wanted when you were a kid was to win a damned Oscar. You’d make up speeches. WHAT A FOOL.

Seventeen. Everything you write is crap. No one’s every going to want to read it.

Eighteen. The staff at Pappadeux’s? They’re only nice to you because they have to be.

Nineteen. You quit smoking?? That was STUPID. You want a short life, right? Doesn’t quitting mean it’d last longer??

Twenty. Your teachers… how many of them hated teaching you? I bet it was a lot.

Twenty-One. Like school did you any good anyway. All that money your grandmother and great aunt left you so you could have a fine education, and you squandered it.

Twenty-Two. Every night, just so you can sleep, you gotta pop some pills. There’s so much ugliness inside you, the only way you can silence it is to drug it.

Twenty-Three. You like giving things to people, don’t you? Makes you feel better about yourself? They’re just things. And you’re trying to buy affection, just like when you were a kid. Remember the year you gave everyone in your class Valentines and got NONE in return. Yeah. YEAH. You sat at your desk staring at your pitiful, poorly decorated, EMPTY brown paper sack, waiting for someone to drop in a card, and NO ONE DID.

Twenty-Four. You BELIEVED Adam when he said you were gorgeous. YOU BELIEVED HIM. Of COURSE he’s going to say that. Boys will say ANYTHING to sucker a gal.

Twenty-Five. You’re too much like a boy, anyway. How could you POSSIBLY be GORGEOUS. GORY. GROSS. N O T gorgeous.

Twenty-Six. Haven’t got the faintest idea of how to be a girl, do you?

Twenty-Seven. Boys don’t want to get their hands on you anymore. Not the gentlemen. They never did. EVER. NOT ONCE. You were just there. Weak, convenient, lonely and easy… or so they thought.

Twenty-Eight. But you can’t even do that right, can you? So eager to play… but then you balk and walk almost EVERY TIME.

Twenty-Nine. When you finally said fuck it? You let a narcissistic, manipulative, emotionally and verbally abusive JACKASS have that card. You gave it to him in a fucking VALUE PLACE INN on the southwest side of San Antonio, in the damned desert, practically. Good GOD, girl. Talk about TRAGIC. SHIT. What a loser you are.

Thirty. God knows your parents would be better off if you weren’t here. They could’ve actually ENJOYED retirement instead of having to support their stupid, lazy daughter. They could’ve set aside money for their grandchildren’s education, but you’d rather rob them of that.

Thirty-One. Your brother couldn’t because he was weak. You’re JUST like him, in ALL the WRONG ways. All those bad scraps…

Thirty-Two. You signed a piece of paper twenty years ago. That doctor who made you sign it? He’s probably forgotten all about you. So many will…

Thirty-Three. And the debt. The goddamned DEBT you’ve amassed. STUPID GIRL.

Thirty-Four. You think you can sing? Bullshit. Your voice ain’t that awesome — ’bout as good as Marge Simpon’s. Look at all those times you tried to get up on stage. Your friends were in bands and never once asked you to sing with them.

Thirty-Five. It won’t be alright in the end. It’ll just be more of the same bullshit.

Thirty-Six. Those doctors in your infancy… they told your parents you would be better off in an institution for people like you. Those doctors were right.

Thirty-Seven. Your boss gave you a job because he needed a body–someone to occupy a desk and free the boys up from the incessant phone calls so they could actually WORK. He doesn’t actually like you. The hand!!! That face he made with it! I’m not talking to you. Shut the FUCK up. Answer the phones. Take the payments. Be QUIET.

Thirty-Eight. What good is a woman without a husband and children?

Thirty-Nine. Those prayer boards you’re fashioning… so you can have something positive and lovely and good to think on when you wake and when you sleep… You put little knickknacks and mementos on those so you can delude yourself into thinking people love you. IF they loved you, they’d not let you hide out in your room so often. If they were truly friends, they’d be FRIENDLY.

Forty. Jamie. Remember that time you felt bad that no one was at the other end of the pool cheering him on, so you went down there to be his cheerleader? You were the only one. Why would he WANT to swim toward that end if you were standing there screaming at him? Your interest in him was LAUGHABLE.

Forty-One. David. Three years you obsessed over that dude. THREE. YEARS. And I don’t know what he said about you to others, but it must’ve been ugly. And your fascination with him made everyone in that circle uncomfortable. Regina told you so. You should never have tried to be friends with them. You should never have thought enough of yourself that you could be appreciated by them, by him.

Forty-Two. Ben. He signed your junior high yearbook, “To the Love Doctor.” He humiliated you then, and yet, when yall were in college, when he roomed with your brother, you thought maybe he’d become a better person. He seemed to have done so. But you had to go and fuck that friendship up, and by doing so, fuck up his friendship with your brother. You drove two hours to go see about a guy, because, again, you thought enough of yourself… Cried the whole way home, and when you got closer to home, you realized you didn’t want to be alone, so you drove another hour out of the way to impose on your brother’s hospitality… You ruin EVERYTHING.

Forty-Three. Adam. Everything about that was a lie. EVERYTHING. Maybe if, just once, JUST ONCE, you’d been honest from the get-go, maybe things would’ve been different. But… you ruin everything, so… probably not.

Forty-Four. Tony. Everything about that was a lie, too. He was probably really good. He was probably worthy of your consideration. But… he bored you, and you can’t have that. Who the fuck do you think you are???

Forty-Five. Casey. You thought so well of him. A modern day Puck. He thought SO LITTLE of you. SO LITTLE.

Forty-Six. Gary. You thought so little of him. He thought so little of you. SO LITTLE. Yall deserved each other.

Forty-Seven. You should stop taking your meds and start smoking again and drink all the liquor and eat all the bad food… just get it over with already.

Forty-Eight. They said you couldn’t live, and you can’t.

Forty-Nine. They said you shouldn’t live, and you don’t. This isn’t a life, girl. This isn’t anything remotely resembling a life.

Fifty. They said you wouldn’t live, and you won’t. You’ll just keep writing the same damned chapters day after day after day… Who the fuck wants to read that? No one.

Rapture in Death

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Why I wanted to read it: Because for Erin’s Book Challenge, one of the categories was about a detective. This series was the first to come to mind, and once upon a time I loved the way Nora Roberts wrote.

What I liked: She shifted on her sturdy legs. This was, she reminded herself, her superior. “I admire his talent.”

“Peabody, you’re admiring his chest. It’s a pretty good one, so I can’t hold it against you.”

“I wish he would,” she muttered (page 82).

Computers weren’t her forte. “Got a line on it?”

“Not yet.” With tiny tweezers, he lifted the sliver, studied it through his glasses. “But I will. I found the virus, dosed it, that’s first priority. This poor little bastard’s dead, though. When I autopsy it, we’ll see.

She had to smile. It was so like Feeney to think of his components and chips in human terms (page 137).

What sucked: Once upon a time I LOVED Nora Roberts’ writing style. So either it’s gone downhill since I was in my early twenties (which is when this particular title was published) or I’ve gotten to be a cantankerous bitch with regard to writing because of that English degree and all those writing critique groups and workshops and conferences I’ve attended. I was over this book by page 135. I pegged the culprit before the villain was identified. I marked two pages of text I liked. Just two. Glad to have gotten this one out of the way. FINISHED. DONE. Most likely will never read another Roberts novel again.

Having said that: Don’t read this crap. Just don’t.

The Best Hundred Movies Challenge

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Created by Nathan Bransford

  • About Time
  • American Sniper
  • Apollo Thirteen
  • Argo
  • A Beautiful Mind
  • Burnt
  • Charlotte Gray
  • Chef
  • Cinderella Man
  • The Client
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Crazy Stupid Love
  • Creation
  • The Dark Knight
  • Dead Poets Society
  • Deadpool
  • Dedication
  • The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
  • Donnie Brasco
  • Erin Brockovich
  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
  • The Family Stone
  • Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
  • A Few Good Men
  • The Finest Hours
  • Fight Club
  • (Five Hundred) Days of Summer
  • For Love of the Game
  • Ford vs. Ferrari
  • The Founder
  • Fried Green Tomatoes
  • Full Metal Jacket
  • Gangster Squad
  • Gifted
  • Good Will Hunting
  • The Great Raid
  • Hacksaw Ridge
  • The Help
  • Hidden Figures
  • The Hundred Foot Journey
  • The Hunt for Red October
  • Incendies
  • Inside out
  • Invincible
  • Lawless
  • Life as a House
  • Life Itself
  • The Lincoln Laywer
  • Lion
  • Lone Survivor
  • Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
  • Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
  • Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King
  • The Martian
  • Memoirs of a Geisha
  • Miracle
  • Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium
  • Murder in the First
  • My Cousin Vinny
  • Ocean’s Eleven
  • The Painted Veil
  • Patton
  • People Like Us
  • Philadelphia
  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
  • Playing by Heart
  • A River Runs Through It
  • Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
  • Room
  • Saving Private Ryan
  • Schindler’s List
  • Seabiscuit
  • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
  • Serenity
  • Se7en
  • The Shawshank Redemption
  • The Silence of the Lambs
  • The Sixth Sense
  • Sixty-one*
  • Sleepers
  • Sleepless in Seattle
  • Spy Game
  • Stand by Me
  • Star Trek
  • Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope
  • Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back
  • Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi
  • Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens
  • Steel Magnolias
  • Tag
  • A Time to Kill
  • Tombstone
  • Twelve Monkeys
  • Walk the Line
  • The Way Way Back
  • We Are Marshall
  • We Were Soldiers
  • When Harry Met Sally
  • Wind River
  • Wolf of Wall Street

Originally published May twelfth, ‘seventeen.

The Fall Film Challenge: A History of Quirky Picks — Volume the First

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The Original Fall Film Challenge…

One. Any action/adventure flick. X-Men: Days of Future Past. This one was pretty nifty. Not the best of the X-films but certainly not the worst. Loved Quicksilver’s character. Loved Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique. And I really like James McAvoy as Professor X., but it was sometimes hard to follow, and I feel like some of the storyline was constructed just so the crew could show off their impressive skills at creating special effects.

Two. Any shot in Budapest, Hungary. A Good Day to Die Hard. UGH. This film franchise needs to die. I loathed this film in the beginning. Way too much of the same shit–same car chases, same chaos, same demolition… same story, really… just set in a different country. It got a little better as the film progressed, but… UGH.

Three. Any awarded an Oscar for best cinematography. Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Richard Burton. Elizabeth Taylor. God, they were beautiful to watch on the screen. Not just because of their physiques… their presence was incredible. But I didn’t love this movie. I know I should. I didn’t like the other couple. You’re not supposed to like either one, really, but… I felt sorry for Burton’s and Taylor’s characters. The other ones irritated me. And it felt long overall. Maybe it was supposed to do so. I can’t quite put my finger on it. I would’ve been okay if I’d never seen this film. I really don’t know how to explain it.

Four. Any drama/biography/documentary. The Judge. I love Robert Downey, Jr. I love him in this film. And Robert Duvall is amazing here. It’s a good story, well-scripted and well-portrayed.

Five. Any awarded an Oscar for best film editing. Argo. I loathe ben Affleck. But here, he did good. And this story… it’s definitely worth watching.

Six. Any starring an actress whose last name begins with the letter G. Meet me in St. Louis (Judy Garland). I’d meant to watch this for the holiday category. I did not like it, but I LOVE the trolley song. and Judy garland’s voice… it’s so lovely.

Seven. Any starring an actor whose last name begins with the letter J. Lincoln (Tommy Lee Jones). I fell asleep so many times during this movie.

Eight. Any starring an actress whose last name begins with the letter K. Unhook the Stars (Moira Kelly). Usually I love Gena Rowlands. Usually I love Moira Kelly. Usually I love Marisa Tomei. This film is one of those rare exceptions. Don’t bother with it.

Nine. Any shot in London, England. Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. So much of this film went over my head, just like the first one. But I enjoyed watching it.

Ten. Any awarded an Oscar for best original score. The Way We Were. Wow. Robert Redford was a damned fine looking man back in the day. Good God. But I could never believe that his character would go for Barbra Streisand’s character. No way, no how.

Eleven. Any adapted from any novel. This Is Where I Leave You. I liked this movie a lot, though there’s a scene here and there that I wish hadn’t been included.

Twelve. Any awarded an Oscar for best original screenplay. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. SO boring. SO, SO boring.

Thirteen. Any awarded an Oscar for best picture. Driving Miss Daisy. This movie beat out Dead Poet’s Society for best picture. That is a horrible, HORRIBLE crime.

Fourteen. Any romance or comedy. St. Vincent. LOVED the acting. Bill Murray is fantastic here. And I actually liked Melissa McCarthy, which has never happened. But the story? Meh. Not so much.

Fifteen. Any sports flick. When the Game Stands Tall. This had the potential to be a BADASS film. What an amazing story. And yes, there were definitely scenes that I found gripping. But overall, too much of the story was told with too many of the usual clichés. There are so many better sports films out there.

Sixteen. Any thriller or mystery. Lincoln Lawyer. Of the film’s I’ve seen for this challenge, I liked this one the best. I am NOT a Matthew McConaughey fan, but here, he’s impressive.

Seventeen. Any starring an actor whose last name begins with the letter U. The Newton Boys (Skeet Ulrich). Boring. Don’t bother.

Eighteen. Any shot in a country you’ve never visited. Rush (Austria). Niki Lauda’s story is wondrous, and Daniel Bruhl did a beautiful job portraying that man.

Nineteen. Any western or war film. Fury. UGH. Such a waste of time and money.

Twenty. Any from American Film Institute’s Greatest American Movies of All Time. A Streetcar Named Desire. This one’s like Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? I’m glad I watched it, I guess. Marlon Brando and Vivien Leigh… but I would’ve been okay not watching it, too.

Films I’d intended but failed to view: American History X; Animal House; Brave; In Bruges; and Twenty-Eight Days.

Originally published November thirtieth, ‘fourteen.

The original bonus round…

I did not make it through the regular round, so I did not see a single one of these.

Originally published October fifteenth, ‘fourteen.

The Second Annual Fall Film Challenge…

One. Any set in New York City. The Intern. I wish they’d cast someone other than Anne Hathaway. Normally I don’t mind her. But you can’t pair her with someone like Robert de Niro. And the dude who played her husband? He basically ruined this movie for me.

Two. Any that features a child as the main character. Stand by Me. So good. SO, SO good. Best movie on my list. Easily. I don’t know that I’d watch it again, though. I feel like once is enough.

Three. Any Disney film. Brave. I dozed off a lot in this one–not so much that I was oblivious to the plot and all, but… ugh. the only thing I liked were the triplet’s scenes.

Four. Any mentioned in Denim in the Oscars: A Look at Jeans in Cinema. Erin Brockovich. I liked this one a LOT (except for Aaron Eckhart. Pansy). I’d watch it again.

Five. A film about a knight. Gladiator. Man, I miss Richard Harris on the screen. That man had mad skills. Connie Nielsen’s pretty good here, too. The rest of it, though… meh. Not Russell Crowe’s best work. And I definitely did not care for the story.

Six. A love story. The Duff. It’s cute. Completely unbelievable, of course. I liked the main characters quite a bit, though. I love mae Whitman, and the boy’s nice looking… for a boy. I ended up buying this one.

Seven. A movie about something miraculous. Cinderella. So bad. SO SO bad. Richard Madden was too pretty… and not anything like I imagine Prince Charming being. No. Just… no. Cate Blanchett wasn’t quite awful enough. Helena Bonham carter wasn’t quite magical enough (and usually, I LOVE her).

Eight. A film starring an actor/actress with the same first name as yours. Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Meh. I have no strong feelings about this one. Didn’t love it, didn’t loathe it. Won’t watch it again.

Nine. Any film with a score of ninety percent or greater on Rotten Tomatoes. How to Train Your Dragon Two. Cute. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Toothless. I liked the first movie better, but this one was alright. I’d watch it again.

Ten. A film about a superhero. Avengers: Age of Ultron. Meh. Not nearly as good as the first. Parts of it were alright. It’s not one I’d make an effort to see again, but if I came across on one of the television’s movie channels, I might watch it again. It’s got some nice eye candy.

Eleven. A film about a personal victory. Big Eyes. I’m glad I watched it. But I’m over Amy Adams, and while Christoph Waltz typically owns despicable and loathsome, he doesn’t quite do so here–though there surely are moments of utter nastiness. It’s not a film I’d want to see again.

Twelve. Any set in a country you would most like to visit. Woman in Gold. I’m glad I watched this one, too. I can’t say the cast does a remarkable job of telling the story–even Helen Mirren–but they do well enough. I liked it. I’d watch it again.

Thirteen. A film set in a zoo. Fierce Creatures. Kevin Kline’s got skills, too, yall. I forget. It’s a pretty funny movie. Complete nonsense, of course, but I knew that going in. My older brother loved movies like this. I’m sorry I couldn’t watch it with him. I don’t know that I’d watch this again.

Films I’d intended but failed to view: American Graffiti; Amour; Black Mass; Dude, Where’s My Car; A Fish Called Wanda; Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay; Oz the Great and Powerful; Raiders of the Lost Ark; State of Play; Up; and Without Limits.

I didn’t make a bonus list for this year’s bonus round because I’d too many films from my original list yet to see.

Originally published December twelfth, ‘fifteen.

The Fall Film Challenge: A History of Quirky Picks — Volume the Second

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The Third Annual Fall Film Challenge…

One. About adolescence. The Outsiders. I know I should’ve loved this one. God knows it has an incredible cast, and the story’s a school-read staple. But… meh.

Two. About a character’s rebirth or rite of passage. A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. It’s a rough one. It’s well done. It’s not one I ever want to watch again.

Three. About a comic book character. Deadpool. Didn’t like it the first time I saw it. Watched it again and LOVED it.

Four. Shot or set in Washington, D.C. Jason Bourne. MEH. I’ve liked every other Bourne film. This one was shit.

Five. Set in an academic environment. Clueless. Meh.

Six. About failure. Take This Waltz. My biggest issue with this film is that its ending is like the villain who can’t die. There was a pretty perfect place to stop it, which would’ve made me like the story a hell of lot more, but no… thirty more minutes of failure. I think Michelle Williams is adorable. I liked that Seth Rogen wasn’t over the top. The other guy’s cute. I wanted to like their characters but couldn’t.

Seven. About a man vs. god or gods. The Trojan Women. Ah, the Greeks. They really knew how to wreck the human spirit. All this tragedy over a woman. All this tragedy, really, because Zeus got bored with mankind and decided they should just obliterate each other. So we’ve Katharine Hepburn, Genevieve Bujold, Vanessa Redgrave and Irene Papas, which I love. We’ve LOTS of ranting and raving, lots of scenes that feel better suited for the stage than cinema, which I don’t love. I think what I love most about this film is that some of that ranting and raving (and trust me, these chicks are completely justified for that), are some beautiful, poignant lines. Yeah, maybe some of it’s over the top. But I felt myself tearing up a number of times.

Eight. About a man vs. himself. The Big Chill. Love the cast. Love the music. Liked the story well enough.

Nine. About an invention or an ingenuous individual. Flash of Genius. This one was SO hard for me to watch. I can’t tell you how strong the impulse was to turn it off after having seen maybe twenty minutes of it because it made me angry for so many reasons. The last twenty minutes or so were okay. Bah. The man’s plight is significant, for sure, and worthy of his efforts. but five minutes of reading about it on Wikipedia is enough of an education.

Ten. Set in a jail or prison. American History X. I’ve known I needed to see this film since its release but haven’t wanted to watch it because of how heavy I knew it would be. And I was right about that. I cried in the end. I hate how horrible we can be to each other, and this is a damned fine depiction of that.

Eleven. About a dog. Red Dog. It’s slow at the beginning, but it gets good about halfway through. I liked it.

Twelve. About loss. Truly Madly deeply. I love just about everything starring Alan Rickman, but this one not so much. It’s a great idea for a story, but the performances didn’t do much for me–even Rickman’s. I didn’t like it until the last fifteen-twenty minutes.

Thirteen. About man vs. man. Unbroken. God, it is LONG, and I’m sure this is intentional. Yes, the man’s an inspiration. Yes, his strength is superhuman. Yes, the story is remarkable and fantastic and good… every positive adjective you can find works here. But the film itself… bleh.

Fourteen. About man vs. nature. Deepwater Horizon. GOOD.

Fifteen. One that has a monster or monstrous individual. The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug. So the first of the Hobbit films bored the HELL out of me, and I didn’t give a rats ass about watching the rest of’m because of that, but also because it’s one book that’s been broken into three movies and that trend needs to DIE. NOW. This category, though, I don’t like monster movies. AT ALL. So I figured I’d watch this one, and I am SO GLAD I did because Luke Evans is a handsome lad. And this one’s MUCH better than its predecessor.

Sixteen. Shot or set in Pennsylvania. Flashdance. Let’s ignore the fact that A) I’m jealous as hell that any girl could have a figure like the chicks in this flick AND be so limber; B) let’s also ignore the fact that every time I saw Michael Nouri, I thought ZIVA’S DADDY. It’s ninety-five minutes long, which part of me liked because, hey, films are never so short anymore. But this one glossed over all the things that would’ve made me like it (like my writing critique group likes to say I gloss over all the things that would make them like my story more, so that’s probably why it’s in my head). She’s cute. It’s predictable as shit. I liked it, but I’ve NO desire to see it again (and I’m a girl who can watch a movie DOZENS of times, so that should tell you something).

Seventeen. About a character’s quest of some kind. The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. Better than the first Hobbit. Not as good as the second one.

Eighteen. About a character who goes from rags to riches. Joy. Good.

Nineteen. About a man. vs. society. Allied. BLECH. Don’t bother. Seriously. It’s shite.

Twenty. Originally released in the thirties. Mr. Deeds Goes to Town. I liked it.

Twenty-One. About undesirable individuals or elements. Ghostbusters. Entertaining. spectacular, but more because it’s a spectacle than because it’s superb. I actually liked Melissa McCarthy, and that NEVER happens. Kate McKinnon and Leslie Jones were good. Kristen Wiig is typical. Also… Chris Hemsworth. He’s pretty. :] So were the special effects.

Twenty-Two. About a voyage and return. The Martian. It’s better than I expected. I can’t say I loved it, though. It’s good. I liked Damon’s character a lot.

Twenty-Three. About wizards or witchcraft. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Good.

Twenty-Four. Originally released in the sixties. Tom Jones. Holy crap. HOLY CRAP. I could NOT WAIT for this one to be over.

Twenty-Five. About a yearning or obsession. Hugo. Pretty like a child’s storybook. The first half or so is SLOW. Wish Jude Law’d had more screen time. If you can hang through the first, the finish is good.

The third bonus round…

  • One. Big Stone Gap.
  • Two. Bleed for This.
  • Three. The Book Thief.
  • Four. Bridge of Spies.
  • Five. The Choice.
  • Six. Concussion.
  • Seven. Eighty-Four Charing Cross Road.
  • Eight. Election.
  • Nine. Evening.
  • Ten. Flags of Our Fathers.
  • Eleven. Gleason.
  • Twelve. Hacksaw Ridge.
  • Thirteen. Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.
  • Fourteen. Ladies in Lavender.
  • Fifteen. Loving.
  • Sixteen. The Other Boleyn Girl.
  • Seventeen. The Perfect Storm.
  • Eighteen. The Queen.
  • Nineteen. The Remains of the Day.
  • Twenty. Remember the Titans.
  • Twenty-One. Spotlight.
  • Twenty-Two. A Street Cat Named Bob.
  • Twenty-Three. Thirteen Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi.
  • Twenty-Four. The Thirty-Three.
  • Twenty-Five. The Three Musketeers.

One. Big Stone Gap. It’s cheesy as heck — like Where the Heart Is kind of cheesy. I don’t know that I could recommend it, but I didn’t mind watching it.

Two. Concussion. I agree with Andrea, who said, Been meaning to watch this one for awhile now. It moved slowly, but interesting subject matter.

Three. Eighty-Four Charing Cross Road. Meh.

Four. Hacksaw Ridge. GREAT story. GOOD movie.

Five. Loving. SO, SO, SO GOOD. Also, watch this interview. This one, by the way, was my favorite of my selections.

Six. Remember the Titans. It’s okay.

Seven. The Thirty-Three. It’s well-done, save for the fact that after being buried for some sixty days the men are fairly clean-shaven. That’s probably a petty thing. Of the roles I’ve seen of Antonio anderas’, this one’s probably the best so far. I enjoyed the performances of quite a few in the cast.

The Fourth Annual Fall Film Challenge…

One. Jackie. Category: Reviewed last year on slothsandmovies. Natalie Portman is a talented chick. Jackie Kennedy was a remarkable woman, and Portman plays her well. I liked the way the story’s told, but, despite all that, something’s keeping me from saying this film is amazing, and I can’t tell you what that is exactly. Just that’s it’s there. It’s really good, just shy of great. Worth seeing for the history.

Two. Room. Category: About fortitude. This movie had me bawling. That little boy is adorable, and Brie Larson is amazing. They both play their roles so, so well. I hadn’t expected to like this one as much as I did. I was wary of watching it. Borrowed it from the library and kept it for some time after its due date because I wanted to keep it; reviewed several scenes from this film on many occasions. SO GOOD. One of three that I would say is the best from my list.

Three. Gifted. Category: About temperance. LOVE this movie SO much. Chris Evans is phenomenal, best work he’s ever done. Hands down. I love the little girl’s sass and smarts. This is the best movie I’ve seen on my list.

Four. Wind River. Category: About justice. AMAZING. SO, SO incredibly good. Solid storytelling through and through. Chilling film, but so worth watching. One of the three best on my list.

Five. The Founder. Category: About pride. Before I watched this, I thought it was better suited for greed, but it turns out it works better for this category because it’s a fine example of pride going before the fall. I’ve mixed feelings about Michael Keaton’s character in this one. He’s persistent, tenacious, determined, fearless, forward-thinking, clever… such admirable characteristics, and it’s not that he doesn’t use them well. He’s not necessarily a villain. I’d say he’s more an opportunist. He doesn’t give a fuck whom he hurts. He has no conscience. I don’t want to like him. I don’t think he’s an admirable dude, and yet… the men he steamrolls, they could’ve avoided it. Had they been willing to consider his ideas, they could have profited from them, but they were so unwilling to consider any ideals but their own… they should’ve done a better job of protecting their dream, so I didn’t feel as much sympathy for them as I would’ve liked. It’s a horrible train wreck of story; its collision is impressive. Keaton does fine work. But I never want to see it again. Never want to eat at McDonald’s again, either.

Six. Footloose. Category: Starring Kevin Bacon. Okay. I have NEVER liked that song, yall. I thought it was cheesy as shit, and I assumed this movie was just as cheesy. When those opening credits rolled, I was sure my original thought was right. And then it started… I really liked this film, as predictable as it was. The casting’s great, and there are some really, really good scenes in this thing. Some of the dialogue is just perfect, like when the preacher’s wife says: You can lift a congregation up so high they have to look down to see heaven, but it’s the one-one-one where you need the work. I love Dianne Wiest, yall, but never more than in this movie. I’ve never cared much for Kevin Bacon, but after having seen this film, I can understand the world’s fascination with him.

Seven. Chef. Category: About gluttony. I dig this one. Good stuff. I live about Six hours from New Orleans and have never wanted to visit that city. Jon Favreau’s movie has tempted me to give it a look.

Eight. Their Finest. Category: Starring Jeremy Irons. It’s a good story and a pretty film, and I enjoyed it well enough. I had been happy about it, eager to tell folks I really liked it… until this one thing happened in the story (completely unnecessary, badness for the sake of badness, could’ve and should’ve been avoided, really annoyed that it wasn’t) toward the end. I had been thinking it was one I’d watch again, and maybe I will because it’s certainly got merit and shows a bit of history with which I was not familiar, but my enthusiasm for this one’s gone, and I’d really been looking forward to watching it because I love Bill Nighy. Also I’m with Michael, who said, Jeremy Irons has an amazing voice, and I would listen to him read a grocery list for Home Depot. His role is brief (and maybe a little annoying) in this film, but yeah. He does have a damned fine voice.

Nine. Spider-Man: Homecoming. Category: Starring Robert Downey, Jr. God, I love that man. He’s pretty damned awesome. and this was a pretty good flick. I’ve never really cared for Spider-Man, and all the other Spidey flicks I’ve seen haven’t ever inspired me to do so. But this guy, Tom Holland, he does alright. And Michael Keaton’s not so bad at playing the villain. But mostly, Iron Man’s presence make this movie for me.

Ten. The Wolf of Wall Street. Category: About greed. Of the films on my list, this was the one I was least interested in seeing. I loathe the subject matter. I’m not a fan of Leonardo DiCaprio and have never cared for any of his films I’ve seen. I can’t say I care for this one, but he does good work here. It’s a horrible story about utterly despicable people who choose to use their talents for ill. It’s well done, save for the fact that it’s LONG.

Eleven. The Case for Christ. Category: about prudence. Good story. Done well enough. Didn’t inspire me a lick (and I like my God movies to make me love God). Not one I want to watch again.

Twelve. Don Jon.Category: About lust. I actually liked this one and wasn’t expecting to do so. Joseph Gordon-Levitt plays a manwhore who has to watch porn to really get off. I thought it was going to be awful. I liked seeing his character grow. I loved that he would do Catholic penance (saying his Hail Marys and Our Fathers) while working out. That made me laugh. And I like Brie Larson in this one. She doesn’t say much, but what she says is good. It’s got some sweetness in it that I really hadn’t expected to find.

Thirteen. Bottle Shock. Category: Starring Alan Rickman. Good story. Chris Pine annoyed the crap out of me, and that’s never happened, but despite his character’s antics, the guy had a good heart. That hair though, gah. Anyway. Alan’s his usual bad self. It plods along at times, but it’s good. Yall should watch it, at least for the history.

Fourteen. Mr. Holmes. Category: Starring Ian McKellen. Didn’t love this one. Was bored through most of it. Can’t recommend it.

Fifteen. Megan Leavey. Category: About charity. Good story. The movie’s not bad, but I wanted it to be better.

Sixteen. War Room. Category: About faith. It’s not unrealistic like other religion-based films I’ve seen. I did enjoy it, more than I thought I would. There are some really good moments in this story, and I was surprised to find them. I do think it’s cheesy, but I didn’t mind it so much. It inspired me, which is what movies like this are supposed to do.

Seventeen. Elizabeth. Category: Set in a castle. Everybody wants to rule the world. I didn’t love this one; it’s not one I’d ever want to see again. But I didn’t loathe it either. I did like Geoffrey Rush, which is a rare thing for me. I wasn’t sure I was going to at first, but then… he played a pretty cool dude.

Eighteen. Creed. Category: About hope. It’s like every other Rocky flick, and I knew it would be going into it, but I kind of hoped it would be better than the rest, and it wasn’t.

Nineteen. The Big Sleep. Category: Listed on Nathan Bransford’s best hundred movies challenge. I wanted to love this one because Bogart and Bacall. It’s got some good lines and great camera work, and I did love seeing these two, but it’s hard to follow (or maybe I was too tired when I watched it). LOTS of tampering with evidence. Lots of people dying. Lots of me thinking What the fuck? Meh.

Twenty. Snow White and the Huntsman. Category: About envy. Never seen Charlize Theron overact more than in this film, and Rupert Sanders sure did love to have the camera on Kristen Stewart. There’s some cheesy moments. But the special effects are pretty nifty, and I don’t mind looking at and listening to Chris Hemsworth.

Twenty-One. Dunkirk. Category: Set in an exotic locale. Didn’t care for this. Definitely NOT the best war film ever made. Not even anywhere near the best. And for a story as badassed as this one is, it should’ve been AWESOME. The beginning was strong enough, and the conclusion was alright. The middle sucked ass. I was really disappointed in this one, and the music, if you could call it that, definitely didn’t help sway my opinion in the least.

Twenty-Two. Logan. Category: About wrath. Of the Wolverine flicks, it’s the best, I guess. Of the X-Men films, I liked it about as much as I liked the third one where Jean Grey’s on Magneto’s team. i’m not a fan.

Twenty-Three. Howards End. Category: Starring Anthony Hopkins. LOATHED this one. Too fucking long and boring. Didn’t give a shit about the characters or their plights. STUPID movie.

Twenty-Four. The Space Between Us. Category: Set in space. SO BAD. SO, SO BAD. I knew it was gonna be stupid, but I hadn’t realized the extent. Every time I thought it couldn’t possibly get more ridiculous, they’d pile on another outlandish plot device. I don’t understand why Gary Oldman would agree to be in such a pathetic excuse for a film.

Twenty-Five. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Category: Starring Val Kilmer. The only good thing is this movie was Val. STUPID story, stupid script.

Originally published September twenty-ninth, ‘seventeen.

The fourth bonus round…

I watched The Choice and Captain America: Civil War. They were decent — typical Sparks and Marvel fare.

Originally published October fifteenth, ‘seventeen.

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