In the beginning there was the Word… and for months I have felt called to read the Word at the beginning of my day… like it says in the Lord’s Prayer: Give us this day our daily bread… one of my favorite friends has suggested to me, more than once, that you’ve to ask for His nourishment daily, and that He will give you exactly what you need to endure that day–not one bit more or less.
I thought, I’ve read inspirational books in the mornings–that’s kind of the same thing, and it doesn’t work for me. Like I’m some kind of exception.
Last night I set my alarm for seven a.m. I took only those pills I’m prescribed to take–no Benadryl, no Tylenol PM, no Nyquil… nothing but what I should take. I slept well enough. I had dreams about fear looking back at love rather than forward… of vegetables… of social gatherings.
When the alarm went off, I debated resetting it… I debated snoozing past the time I’d allotted myself (forty-five minutes). But at a quarter before eight, I realized I could read my Bible in the comfort of my bed… and so I did. And when I opened it to some random page, which admittedly has never worked for me before, the words I made you, and I will care jumped out at me. I’d looked at this page before. I’d colored I will care in blue.
And so these are the Words that spoke to me:
What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop you’re doing it wrong!” Does the pot exclaim ‘How clumsy can you be?’
How terrible it would be if a newborn baby said to its father, ‘Why was I born?’ or if it said to its mother, ‘Why did you make me this way?'”Isaiah 45:9-10
Do you give me orders about the work of my hands?”Isaiah 45:11
Again I am reminded of how much an insult my words have been to Him. How much more esteemed I’ve held my opinion of myself rather than His of me. The difference this morning was that I didn’t feel guilty or ashamed of this, as I’d done yesterday and the day before and the day before… This morning I felt like a child corrected… and LOVED.
I read that page and the next and the next… and then I was struck by this:
Rather I have refined you in the furnace of suffering.”Isaiah 48:10
People keep telling me my lenses are askew…
Sunday, I snapped one of the lenses out of my glasses, yall. Doing one of those Bible studies. All the ways He tries to get my attention. All the ways He strives to correct me. All the ways He loves me… would that I could know the sensations of comfort and love I had this morning ALL the time.